Everyone is searching for a partner or rather do I say “TRUE LOVE”, though the majority of ladies never agree that they are searching and am yet to figure out the reason why. However, I feel that it could be as a result of not wanting to sound or appear desperate. While those who are already dating are looking for the best means to get intimate with their partner and discover their true personalities, and the kind of questions to ask to get to know him/her better. An Igbo adage says ” Onye ajuju ani e fu uzo” which means ” The one who asks questions never get lost” Eager to get close to your guy? There are different types of dating questions asides bedroom conversation questions which can help reveal some secrets, mysteries, and help you learn about his past, present and future as he learns about you. Most people are scared about the questions to ask because they do not know the reaction they are likely to get from their partner, but the truth is asking these questions are necessary and so to ease the tension the questions are likely to generate you could make it fun like a game.
Few Tips that could help give Intimate Questions a better Atmosphere
There are a few things you need to know to help you spice up the atmosphere and also make your partner feel at ease when answering them. Below are a few of them.
Turn it To a Game
Sure you want your partner to be open to you but then if he/she is not feeling good, or they feel like they are in a job interview or that they are being interrogated, they might not because they would feel that with the way things are going if they be totally open there would be a problem so they try to thereby hide somethings, but then if you make it a game and you both laugh over funny things it makes the atmosphere lighter and more conducive for other discussions. There are different games you can play.
Get some Rules for the Game
The first and simplest game that you both can play is what I tag ” PICK and TELL” whereby you both write your questions of what you want to know about your partner and keep separately after which you take turns to pick and tell what your question is about. Another way you can go about this look for any other random game and play of which anyone who wins gets to ask the other a question of their choice. You both can also play “T & D (Truth and Dare)” game, and make sure you regulate it should your partner be picking just the dare.
You could have rules like; No skipping of questions, No lies, No refusal to answer a question and penalties could be that the offender pays the bills of your next outing, cooks the favorite meal of the winner, Take the winner shopping, Get the winner a gift. And if your guy is quite competitive, he may be more willing to participate if you make it a game with rules and points.
Let there be a Natural Flow
Natural is the watchword. Don’t sit down at a restaurant on a first date, order your drinks, and immediately start a fire brigade questioning or there may not be a second date. Let your questions follow each other simultaneously as your discussion unfolds and do not just skip your questions for instance ,” You asked your partner what school he attended of which the next question should be the course he/she read and then you left it to ask him/her if they have ever cheated their partner and why. Do not start from very deep questions that could scare your partner off. You could start with simple questions that should be one of the happy moments of their life like “what is the most memorable day of your life that you are still grateful for“. Unless you both decided to have a formal session of getting to know each other by asking any questions that have been on your mind, try to keep things on low-key.
What do You Want to Know
There should be a level of certainty to what you want to know. Good communication would strengthen your relationship with your partner. Then have it at heart that you are about to dig into someone’s life and it definitely won’t be as yours, so get yourself a listening ear, patience, and know that try not to forget that no one is perfect and as to that everyone has his or her own perspective and reasoning of things. When you are finding yourself in shock, you both can go for a break or better still change the topic and leave it for another day.
Be Smart in your Choice of Questions
No doubt there are some questions that are perfect for a quick text conversation. But then, don’t ask questions via text that you know would lead to a lengthy discussion or response. More in-depth questions should be saved for face-to-face conversations.
If you have checked things and you feel that the comfort of the home is better, then that is perfect. All you need to do is keep your house very clean and decorated if possible, then make some very nice delicacies and appetizer and call on your partner. when he/she comes you could both see a movie and from there going with the perfect time ask some questions and others comes naturally. Ask for elaboration or more explanation when appropriate and if your guy is particularly brief when answering a question, you may want to rephrase some questions. For instance, if “What do I need to know about your sex life?” is making your partner retreat, then ask more questions specific to this one. “If there was a movie about your sex life, what would be captivating and intense scene?”.
Don’t Judge or get Angry with your Partner
You need to at this point have total control of your emotions, try your best not change your mood because you are not happy some things you heard. Also never go judging your partner and giving them instances of actions they should have taken to remedy or change the experiences they are sharing with you. Never also get angry with your partner as at the cause of the discussion, if not you might be pushing your partner away from sharing personal, challenging or disturbing issues with you and being open to you at all times.
Do Not Interrupt
Interruption has a way of cutting one’s flow or even boldness gathered to talk about a particular thing. Do your best not to interrupt smooth and perfectly good conversations just to ask the questions. If a guy is happily engaged in talking to you, listen and learn about him that way.
Intimate Questions and Their Categories
Knowing your Partner’s Past
Learning about someone’s past might not be that easy, because some people have a lot of secrets about themselves that they might not like to share. Before you can move forward with your partner, you may be the type who wants to know about his or her past most especially if you are planning to be intimate or stay together for a long time (maybe even get married), you should feel comfortable asking anything you feel you should know, or whatever you’re curious about. But then if they love you they would try to be open to you and remember, asking these questions will open the gate to your past, as well. Some questions to help discover about one’s past are;
- What are the biggest lies you have ever told?
- What are your deepest and darkest secret?
- What according to you is a perfect life, and how would you try to make it for yourself and me?
- What did you enjoy (or hate) about school?
- What is the worst phase of your life?
- What is your happiest memory of the past that is so dear to you?
- What’s the earliest memory that you have of yourself?
- What is the worst lie you ever told your parents?
- Tell me about your best friend.
- Have you offended someone to an extent you feel they might not ever forgive you?
- What’s the worst job you’ve ever had?
- What is the craziest thing you’ve ever done and would you do it again?
- What are the experiences that have made you who you are today?
- How was your past relationship?
- What is the most embarrassing thing that has ever happened to you?
- What is the worst phase of your life?
- What was the most awkward conversation you ever had with someone?
- What is the craziest thing you have ever done and would you do it again?
- What are your regrets in life
- Where’s the best place you ever went with your parents?
Get a View of your Partner’s Personality
There are some questions that could give you a broad view of your partner, what he thinks, his view of life, and his perspective on some sensitive issues of life. The way at which your partner answers these questions would tell you more about a person than the answers themselves.
- What are you insecure about?
- What’s your biggest goal that you are working on now?
- Who is the most important person in your life?
- What are you most thankful for?
- How do you feel about sharing your password with your partner?
- Do you ever feel the need to have total privacy?
- Are you religious?
- How would you react if there was irrefutable proof that God doesn’t exist? How about if there was irrefutable proof that God does exist?
- Who is your role model in life
- What activity calms you down and makes you feel at peace with the world?
- Have you ever wanted or wished to be a woman/man?
- Are you more into looks than brains?
- Who are you really? Who is behind the mask that you show to the rest of the world?
- How do you think/want to die?
- Are you confrontational?
- What do you think is the biggest problem in the world today and the possible solution?
- What books interest you?
- If a song was to best describe you and your life what would it be?
- What is your philosophy of Life?
- What is your idea of a perfect vacation?
- How have your strengths help you to succeed? How have your faults hindered you?
- Have you ever lost someone close to you?
- Do you consider yourself an introvert or an extrovert?
- What did your last relationship teach you?
- What is the thing you don’t like about yourself and would want to change if you had the power to?
- What are some of the morals you live by?
- What activity calms you down and makes you feel at peace with the world?
- What is your strangest habit?
- What is the question you would absolutely refuse to answer?
- How often do you feel overwhelmed?
- What is your view about special occasions in your life like a birthday, wedding anniversary and the likes?
- What is a deal breaker for you?
- If you ever got into a disagreement with any one of my family members or best friends, how would you deal with it?
- How adventurous are you?
- If I requested that you cook me dinner, what would you make me?
- Which of your parent are you closer to?
- If you won a lottery tomorrow, what would be the first thing you would do with the money?
- What’s an ideal weekend for you?
- Who’s your favorite movie character? What do you like about him/her?
- Do you judge a book by its cover?
- Would you rather hang out with your friends, than take care of your sick girlfriend?
- What are your thoughts about online dating or tinder?
- What’s your favorite thing to do on a beautiful Spring, Summer-fall, and Winter day?
- What makes you feel accomplished?
- What kind of TV shows, Movies, Video games, do you like?
- Do you have phobias?
- What do you think of best friends of the opposite sex?
- How involved are you in politics?
- What is the lowest and highest point of your life?
- Do you like to talk dirty on the phone or online?
- When do you think a person is ready for marriage?
- What are your goals?
- Is what you’re doing now what you always wanted to do growing up?
- What gets you angry?
- Which aspect of your life is going really well right now and which aspect do you think you need help with?
- Describe your version of a perfect home.
- If you see a homeless person asking for money, would you give?
- Who is your favorite family member/sibling and why?
- Do you have any enemies? Why?
- What seemed normal in your family when you were growing up, but seems weird now?
- When was the last time you really panicked?
- If you were opportune to have lunch with anyone in the world, living or dead, who would that be and why?
- Do you believe that there is anything like “second chance”?
- Where would you go to if you wanted to be alone?
- What’s the one thing that people always misunderstand about you?
- What would you do if your parents didn’t like your partner?
- Are you financially stable?
- Do you think any part of your personality needs to be improved? If so, which part and why?
- What are the things you like to do alone?
- Do you prefer to spend more time with your lover, family, or friends? Why?
- What chokes you up when you try to think about it?
- If you are in a bad mood, do you prefer to be left alone or have someone to cheer you up?
- what is your dream tattoo?
- Are you a person who keeps enemies, grudges or any negative thoughts about a person?
- What fact do you try to ignore?
- Who in your life always stresses you out and who do you rely on to help you calm down?
- Who is that one person you can talk to about just anything?
Questions About Love and Intimacy
Intimacy is an important aspect of every relationship mostly the very serious relationship. People express love in different ways and we know that there are also different love languages and creating intimacy with your partner you would be able to know the specific ones that captivate your partner’s heart. It’s not all about sex nor what goes on in the bedroom. Of course, that may play a role in your relationship, but there are things you need to know which would be better for a stronger bond with your partner.
- What can I do to show you how much I love you?
- What qualities make me special to you?
- Do you easily get attracted to other women/men and what do you think can stop that?
- What is your favorite scent for a woman/man?
- Do you have a “type of woman/man” and do I fit what you thought you were looking for?
- How would you react if you found out I was cheating
- Do you have any fantasies you would like fulfilled?
- How do you think you best express love?
- What do you think is the sexiest thing about yourself?
- What is something you think is true about me, but you’ve never asked to confirm?
- Do you like the lights turned “ON” or “OFF”
- If you were to give me a very romantic kiss, where would you take me to make it perfect?
- Do you believe in love at first sight?
- Do you think there is a difference between having sex and making love?
- When did you realize you were in love with me, and how did you feel?
- Will aging affect your attraction towards me?
- Do you see our love lasting and have you had any doubts?
- Have you ever been hurt in the past and questioned the possibility of love?
- Do you believe in soul mates?
- How would you respond if my appearance drastically changed, either overnight or overtime (new haircut and different hair color, more or less muscle, weight gain/loss)?
- What was the first thing you thought when you met me?
- What is your best lovemaking pattern or scenario?
- How do you think I should describe you to other people?
- If you had to choose, would you rather receive a gift or have someone do something nice or helpful for you?
- What do I need to know about your sex life?
- What is the one thing you don’t like about me and if given a chance would change?
- What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you see me?
- Have you ever had a one night stand?
- Do you think we are so destined to be together?
- Do you like sentimental gifts or do you always want a gift to have a practical purpose?
- Were you looking for love at all when you found me?
- What types of compliments do you like to get?
- Do you have feelings for any of your ex-girlfriends or a best friend who you liked in the past?
- What is your favorite body part on a female?
- What role does physical attraction play in whether or not you pursue a relationship?
- Have you ever had a date you tagged as the worst experience so far?
- Would you relocate for love?
- How many past partners have you had?
- If you could have three wishes from me, what would they be?
- What is your greatest turn on?
- What is your greatest turn off?
- Is there anything we have not tried that you did like us to?
- What goals do you have for us?
- Did you struggle or debate if you should ask me out, and why would you have chosen not to?
- When was the last time you broke someone’s heart?
- How and where do you like to be touched?
- Are you a virgin
- When have you felt your biggest adrenaline rush?
- What would you do if your ex-girlfriend suddenly wanted to get back together?
- what were your thoughts about me on our first date
- Have you ever had a wet dream
- What is the first thing you noticed and admired about me?
- What does love mean to you?
- Would you ever take back someone who cheated?
- Do you have any close female friends, other than me and any of your female family members?
- How many times have you been in love?
- Have you ever cheated on a partner? Why? Did you get caught?
- Do you usually stay friends with your exes?
- Have you ever longed for a woman that was much older than you?
- what do you think of open relationship?
- Ideally and realistically how often would you like for us to be intimate?
- What are some things I can do outside of the bedroom to keep the feelings of intimacy going all day?
- Do enjoy one on one outings or do you prefer big groups
Questions About your partner’s Present and Future Plans
Sometimes you might be confused about where the relationship is heading to, then ask questions. Go far into the future as you feel like you should, but keep the current length of your relationship in mind and the plans you have already discussed before you ask about things like financial plans and retirement plans, or you may give the wrong impression. There are certain questions that could give you a clue of what the future of your relationship looks like. Some of the questions are;
- Where do you see this relationship headed in the next year? What about the next five years?
- What kind of parent do you think you will be?
- Would you ever leave me if in future I become disabled or have a health challenge?
- How do you plan to save for retirement?
- What are your thoughts on having our elderly parents live with us if they can’t live on their own one day?
- What is your opinion on marriage and children?
- Where and how serious do you see both of us as a couple in five years?
- Where do you see yourself living when you retire?
- What are your occupational goals and how could they affect our relationship?
- Would you stay with me if you found out I was unable to bear children?